-=-=-=

For years I’ve been promising a short Christmas letter.   This year I’m delivering on that promise. (Living with Transverse myelitis makes for short Christmas letters.)

There are 2 links at the end…my latest TM update and a song link for those who might be interested.

But first there is this year’s JibJab:  https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/feliz_navidad/6f8a706e-bc19-4423-b89d-5ecf63bf148d

I didn’t leave the state of Missouri this year. All our “get aways” were within 90 minutes. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to live in “misery” again, but I’ve always planned for a headstone in the family cemetery outside Doe Run…ashes scattered to several places.

If you should read the blog piece, I hope it doesn’t come across as morose.  As I write this, I love EVERYTHING about my life…except for my lack of mobility&stamina and some body parts that are giving me grief.  (at least TM didn’t hit me worse…or when I was young…and I continue to thank my lucky stars for Shelly!)

Dad is still hanging in at 98.  He has been at my sister’s since mid-september.  I hope he gets to go home again to the house he had built in ’91.  Like me, he’s still good above the shoulders and can still spin a fine story (although he needs prompting sometimes…).

Shelly had a very nice garden. (I helped some…) Our freezer is stocked with tomatoes.  I just ate the last of the sweet peppers.  I have always loved sitting on our balcony, looking down on the courtyard and garden boxes.

The highlight of my year was pulling off a surprise birthday party for Shelly.  The plan got waylaid 2 years ago when Bruce&Jeanette had covid. It worked like a charm on July 7….Yahoo!

She expected 2 nights at the AirBnb side of the Rock House.  6 of us on the front porch of the Rock House with beer&pizza&stories.

She got a room full of friends, lots of pizza, and music from her favorite local duet. (I’d booked The Shandies last time too…) 

I was crowned “King of Sole” again at Wine, Women, and Shoes.  Thanks again to all who donated to The Victim Center.  I’m hanging up my sole man shoes…no more soliciting.

We had more guests in the apartment in 2024 than b4 TM.  Each and every visit was a pleasure, whether it was dinner, snacks, and/or games.  We especially appreciated the visits from our Hotlanta bffs.

Every phone call with friends was a joy….especially when my health never came up. More calls in ’25 would be a good thing. I’m at 417-379-6817.  There were some good e-mail threads and some cards and letters that made my day.  More of each would be nice. {I’m someone who loves receiving Christm as letters….no matter how long!}

BTW: On that headstone: “Enjoy every sandwich. Be. Just Be.”

It’s a wrap. Links below.

Steve

http://slw913.com/transverse-myletis/hanging-inwith-transverse-myelitis/

I’ve loved this song since it was released in March of1989. These lines are truer every day:  “Life gets mighty precious, When there’s less of it to waste…”

Joni Mitchell’s 1970 “Big yellow taxi” is more than a song critiquing the destruction of nature and the development of urban sprawl.
For me the song has always been about not taking things for granted until it’s too late and we’ve lost them.
I like to think I always took that sentiment to heart.
Since being ambushed by Transverse myelitis on September 17, 2023 the meaning (and my perspective) changed a bit because of the things I lost and won’t get back.

I have been spewing and writing “enjoy every sandwich” since I was fortunate enough on October 30, 2002 to catch Warren Zevon as the only guest on David Letterman. Ten months later Warren was dead at only 56.
That night in 2002 the world learned that he was dying of mesothelioma. When Dave asked him what the diagnosis had taught him, Warren replied: “How much you’re supposed to enjoy every sandwich.” Other than BLTs, when we’re picking fresh tomatoes from our garden boxes, I don’t eat many sandwiches. But that never kept me for doing my best to savor every bite I take…and to be grateful for each day as it comes to a close.

If I had a Benjamin for every time I have written “Be. Just Be.” I’d be a wealthy man.
I started writing that when I was in high school. (The phrase seems to have taken a hiatus for awhile when I was too busy working-hard/playing-hard??)
Over the years I’ve had people ask me what those 3 words mean.
My answer was always a question: “What do YOU think it means?”
Sometimes they got it right…and right away. Sometimes I had to help them.
“Be your true self. Live in the moment. Be authentic.”
For the past 22 years, I would add: “And enjoy every sandwich.”

While I was singing along with today’s ear worm I checked my birthday list. One thing that has given me great joy& laughter the past 20 years is sending JibJab cards.
No birthdays on the list today, but there are 3 tomorrow.
Or should I say there WERE 3. Two guys I went to school with and a fellow who I hired in Portland in 1996 (and who told me about Google in 1998) were born on December 6.
They’re all dead now.

They’ll never experience another ear worm.
They’ll never enjoy another sandwich.
They’ll only live in memories.
Their “being” is past tense.

TM took away most of my mobility…and more.
But I can still have Jimmy V moments…and more.
I can still hug my family and friends…I can call them on the phone…I can send texts and letters.
So can you.
Don’t wait for “someday.”
Someday never comes.

Oftentimes I can show self restraint.
I have even gone a week or two without giving in, no many how many calls I got.
But then my phone displays “Suspected Spam” and I can’t manage to help myself. I give in to the urge, hoping to entertain myself a bit and waste the time of the cretin on the other end. (Shelly has overheard many of the calls, and had to stifle her laughter to keep from giving away what I was doing. My attempts to disguise my voice also had her chuckling…)

I’ve probably given in 40 times over the past 120 days.
For awhile, almost all of them were calls trying to get my Medicare information.
They opened by saying that they were from Medicare Support and wanted to know if I had received the “new plastic medicare card.”
There is NOT a plastic Medicare card.
(They’ve been making these scam calls since at least 2018.)

At first I said that I already had a plastic card…in fact I had “received a few” of them. They usually hung up fairly quickly, so I had to change my approach.
When I told them that I hadn’t received a plastic card, they would start with their questions…and I would say I’d have to find my paper card and ask to be put on hold.
Then 6 or 8 minutes later I’d say that I found it and the fun would begin.

When they asked for a key piece of information (the effective date for Medicare) I had some fun.
Sometimes I’d say a date in 1964. (Medicare started in ‘65; if I was 65 in 1964, I’d be 125.)
One time I said that the effective date was in 1926 (the year my Dad was born). That’d make me 163. They’d asked me to repeat it a couple of times before they’d hang up.

If I didn’t give them a crazy start date, they’d go after what they really needed: a Medicare number.
At first I’d make something up, making sure it was in the correct format.
But now when they ask for the number, I give them shit for being scam artists preying on senior citizens….and tell them to “Google plastic Medicare cards.”
A couple of times it was obvious that the caller had no idea they were part of a scam. I believe that they honestly thought they were helping old people. Sad. (But everyone needs to pay the rent…)
-=-=-=
The most prevalent calls for awhile were calls from folks saying they’re police or firefighters pacs.
Some of them start with a real person saying they’re gonna pass me to a recording. In that case, I quickly ask to be put on their “Do not call list”…and they hang up.
When I let them pass me to the AI recording, I test it out by saying I want to donate at a level other than their canned amounts.
This makes the AI go crazy.
I also give the AI fits by agreeing to their amounts but by giving them made up credit card information.
These calls quickly quit being any fun…and perhaps the request for the do not call list really worked.
-=-=-=-
And then there are the discount drug callers.
I usually start with a prescription drug, e.g. oxycontin or prozac. (They say they can’t do oxy, but can ship prozac WITHOUT a script!!)
Then I ask for psilocybin (they search their database and can’t find it!) and THC gummies (they laugh and say No to those).
Next I ask about Methaqualone and Biphetamine 20. (That stumps them…quaaludes and black beauties have been off the market for a loooong time. Oh, well…those were the days.)
I also stumped them with Delysid….Lysergic acid diethylamide.
I’ve only answered a handful of those drug calls, but they were entertaining.
-=-=-=
It’s been a couple of weeks since I gave in and answered a number that is not in my contact list, but I’m sure I’ll give in again.
Hopefully it will be the Medicare scammers or the drug pushers.
They’re the most fun….and in a TM world, fun is where you can find it.

First things first (the JibJab): https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/let-it-snow-bing-crosby-starring-you-vertical/7ef68a0f-0e36-41a0-80ae-40875b993fd3

Not all that much live music in 2023 compared to previous years, but I did see lots of my favorites:
Springsteen in KC and Tulsa; Dawes in STL and Lawrence; Tedeschi Trucks in Little Rock and STL;
The Mavericks twice at Knuckleheads in KC; Jackson Browne here in Spfd; John Fullbright in Joplin and Okeimah, OK.; National Park Radio in town and at the Rock House. I’m grateful that I got to see so many of my favorites.
{Noticeably missing is my current favorite: Jason Isbell…we’ll see him here in Jan}
There were another dozen shows, and some good times at The Rock House in Reeds Spring, but my concert going got cut short…Read On.

There were no road trips, other than the ones to the shows listed above and a few 200 mile trips over to visit Dad. At 97, he’s still hanging in there. For that I’m grateful.
Well, technically there was the 733 mile road trip home from the beach, after 18 nights, on January 3. {We drove straight thru. Never again. What were we thinking?!?!}
After 7 years of heading to Gulf Shores at the end of December, that road trip won’t happen in 2023…Read On.

I’m grateful every year for my garden.
My spring garden exceeded expectations, thanks to the first cabbages I’d planted since Corvallis in 1981! Spring broccoli was excellent too. Lots of salads of mesclun.
Summer garden produced lots of tomatoes. Bumper crop of cherokee purple and brandywine. Still lots in the freezer for winter soups…
I hear that my fall garden did pretty well. Shelly gave away lots of lettuce, mesclun, kale, and broccoli…and that’s where “Read On” comes into play.

Four days after my 75th birthday my world changed. Many of you know already know all the details included in the 750 word post at my blog: http://slw913.com/transverse-myletis/it-still-doesnt-seem-real/
On 9/18/23 I woke up in the hospital, paralyzed from the shoulders down. Several days later I was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis “a pair of words I’d never heard b4, and had trouble remembering for awhile. {But 2 words I’ll never forget…} Check out the wikipedia page.
Three months later I’m making slow progress. I get around with a walker for now. Below the waist I have issues and constant nerve pain. It’s gonna take awhile.
I can’t thank my friends enough for all the support and encouraging words. Keep ’em coming…Shelly & I need ’em!!
For my friends and support network I’m very grateful.

I’m proof that good things happen on dating sites (and that I am a lucky old coot).
Shelly and I met on OkCupid in 2012. We celebrated our 11th Meetaversary at the Meyer Orthopedic and Rehab Hospital here in Springfield, MO.
We’ve been saying that we make a Good Team since early in our relationship. I can’t imagine where I would be without her. For Shelly Drymon I can’t find the words to express my gratitude. Together we are gonna whip T.M. however long it takes.

Now for the tunes:
1. My favorite Christmas song: I’ve got all the gifts I need…friends, music, and Shelly. Never cared about “stuff” b4 and care even less about it now. Friends, music, a partner who I love and who loves me, and experiences are all that matters.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTL0odryDN0

2. I’m not planning on going away anytime soon, but one of my favorite artists was when he wrote this. It’s the last song on Warren Zevon’s last album.
Hold your friends close. Don’t wait until tomorrow to make the call, send the text, or write the e-mail. Tomorrow never comes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHrtZbMx8GA

I hope our paths cross or that I hear your voice in 2024.
Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Take care. Keep in touch. Enjoy every sandwich.
Be. Just Be.

Steve
417-379-6817…call or text me sometime!! {weâ€d both enjoy it…}

First things first: https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/ugly-sweater-song-sye/53ba0beb-e739-4108-b822-f4f2b98647ba

It’s an interesting phenomenon: the older I get, the shorter the letter.

There was quite a bit of live music in ‘22…but not as much as I would’ve liked.
Saw some of my favorite artists multiple times. Saw some folks I’ve listened to for years, but had never seen before. Sweet.

There were road trips…but not as many as I would’ve liked. Most of them were music related, and the favorites were meeting up with friends who had also road-tripped to KC and Nashville.
Friends came from FL and GA once again in June for music at The Rock House. Awesome.

The other road trip favorites of ‘22 were the 200 miles over to visit Dad. I threw him a surprise birthday party at the DQ. It was special…as was everyone who attended.

At 96, he’s still hanging in there. He’s now the only one remaining from the Elvins class of ‘44.
I know how very lucky I am to still have him, as several friends lost their parents in 2022.
I lost several friends and acquaintances this year. Probably every one reading this did too. As Dad says: “the troops are thinning.”
Like most everyone I know, Shelly and came down with Covid. Fortunately our cases were mild.

I didn’t badger friends to donate to The Victim Center’s Wine Women & Shoes fundraiser in 2022.
I’m sure that made some people on the receiving end of this e-mail happy.
But I did try to make up for it by taking advantage of a QCD (Qualified Charitable Distribution) to that and several other worthy organizations.
If you’re an old person like me and required to take distributions from your IRA, you really should utilize QCDs. Reduce your taxes while doing good.

Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, on12/16 we head for Gulf Shores, AL. It’s our 7th annual late December trip to the beach, and once again friends will be meeting us there. This year they’ll be coming from: Cumming, GA; Mulvane and Pittsburg, KS; and Reeds Spring, MO. Looking forward to 17 days of hugs, sunrises, sunsets, walks on the beach, naps, and more.

Now for the tunes: two songs from the album that I listened to more than any other in ‘22…“Liars” by John Fullbright. These two help me do a couple of the Jimmy Valvano Three: one makes me think and the other makes me laugh.
John Fullbright – Stars (Live @ 2018 Fayetteville Roots Festival)

I hope our paths cross or that I hear your voice in 2023.
Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Take care. Keep in touch. Enjoy every sandwich.
Be.

Steve (aka a Lucky Old Coot)
417-379-6817…call or text me sometime!!

First things first: https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/the-git-up-blanco-brown-christmas-starring-you-ecard/86407c74-8ffe-4ef0-8d88-1f14aab25552

In 3 days we head for Gulf Shores, AL. It’s our 6^h late December trip to the beach, and once again friends will be meeting us there. Looking forward to 16 days of sunrises, sunsets, naps, and more.

2021 has been similar in many ways to last year: Masked up; Hunkered down.

Add in: vaccinated; boostered; some road trips and live music.

Once again the first weekend of June was a highlight of the year: Shady Acres Motel; Tom and Gloria; Steve and Claudia; 2 nights of music in the back yard at The Rock House…The Creek Rocks…The Lacewings. Plus The Shandies at Bear Creek.

That weekend would have been on the short list of highlights for ANY year.

For the second year in a row I was named King of Soul at the Wine Women & Shoes fundraiser. Thanks again to the 50 folks from 16 different states who helped me raise $6,238.08 for The Victim Center. It’ll be my last year hounding friends for $$…it was Shelly’s swan song at the V.C.

It was my first time taking advantage of QCDs (Qualified Charitable Distributions). There will lots of checks from my Fidelity account to 501(c)(3) organizations in the future.

Shelly has been taking some time off since then…but she is NOT retired. In 2022 she will be moving on to another venture.

We celebrated with our first long road trip of 2021. It began with seeing Dawes at the Ryman and visiting some dear friends in Nashville, then we were off to Hotlanta, Tampa, Siesta Key, and Panama City Beach. Great visits with a few friends and with both my kids and their partners.

There have been other music related road trips: to Pittsburg, KS twice; KC once; STL 3 times; and another weekend in Nashville for 2 shows by The Mavericks at The Ryman.

And then there was a weekend in CoMo for the Roots&Blues Festival.

In many ways 2021 bore a semblance of normalcy.

But we still mask up when we go out, and I shake my head at the anti-vaxxers and the apologists for what happened on January 6. Lunacy, willful ignorance and apathy are deadly pandemics.

Here’s a repeat from last year:

I hope to do a better job of living “The Jimmy Valvano Three” each and every day of 2022.

“To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think — spend some time time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think and cry, that’s a heck of a day.”

Indeed.

Oh, yeah….here’s the song. I certainly have all the gifts I need: friends, music, a partner who loves me, health, and more money than time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opktLUqP2Ek

I hope our paths cross or that I hear your voice in 2022.

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Take care. Keep in touch. Enjoy every sandwich.

Be.

Steve

December 16, 2020

I’m writing this from Gulf Shores, AL. It’s our 5th late December trip…and only the second time I have been out of the state of Missouri during this shitshow of a year.

If I wanted to keep it really short, this annual letter would only require six words to describe 2020:
Masked up; Hunkered down; Stayed home.

I had high hopes for 2020 (and not just because of the symmetry): roadtrips planned and some booked, concert & festival tickets purchased, a 30th Year Tax Director Reunion in Sarasota…for starters.

Your hopes and plans were wiped out too.
2020 sucks for everyone, but at least we’re still breathing.
Add those last 2 words to the 6 above.

The first weekend of June was the highlight of the year. Shady Acres Motel. Joseph and his friend Karla. Tom and Gloria. Steve and Claudia.
2 nights of music in the canyon….Jeff Porter…The Nace Brothers.
That weekend would have been on the short list of highlights for ANY year.

Last year’s letter ended with a link to a song that matters and these words:
“Don’t let this happen to you: ‘All the words I never said falling from my eyes…’
Don’t miss your last chance.”

Soon after sending that, and being the spreadsheet guy that I have been since Visicalc, I created a file named “I wanta hear your voice in 2020.” I talked with 88% of the people on my list once, and most of them a couple of times or more. Others only heard my voice in a message.
Many of those conversations make the 2020 list of highlights too.
I missed the “last chance” once. That is one too many.

So now we all look forward to 2021, getting vaccinated, and getting back to some semblance of normalcy.
I hope to do a better job of living “The Jimmy Valvano Three” each and every day of 2021.
“To me there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two is think — spend some time time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think and cry, that’s a heck of a day.”

I hope you do too.
And I hope to hear your voice in 2021…and to give you a real hug. In 2020, this is the best I can do:

https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/snowman_scurry/73935361-5502-45ca-ad10-2cb91d4c5329

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Take care. Keep in touch. Be.

Steve

-=-=-=-=-=

It’s a JibJab, an abbreviated “Christmas Letter” and a song that matters.

First things first: https://www.jibjab.com/view/make/elf_dance/0c056492-990a-4365-96cf-c6dc16a422c5

RE the letter: I reread last year’s. Too long…what a windbag!!!

This year it’s short & sweet.

• Saw lots of live music in a variety of venues. Hope to see lots of shows in 2020.
• Had some success raising vegetables. Hope for better crops in 2020.
• Took several road trips. We’re on a roadtrip right now….our 4^th end-of-December trip to Gulf Shores, AL. Hoping for more road trips in 2020.
• On our CO/NM road trip we visited with one of the first friends I made in Orygun in 1976, who I hadn’t seen since my solo cross country drive in 2000. On our last night of the trip, I visited with friends from Sarasota who live in Denver. I hadn’t seen one of them since that 2000 roadtrip. Awesome.
• A couple of contemplated trips never materialized. Enjoyed the contemplating.
• Didn’t do any fishing. Maybe in 2020. Need to find a good farm pond/lake.
• Didn’t get a haircut in 2019. Maybe in 2020. Maybe not.
• Helped raise money for The Victim Center in my role as a “Sole Man” for their Wine Women & Shoes event. Thanks to all who donated. Hope to raise even more money for them in 2020. Expect to be asked…
• Talked to my 93 year old Dad almost every day. He might outlive me.
• Made more calls and sent more texts than I received. What’s up with that?
• Read too many obituaries of friends and acquaintances. Two friends died suddenly. It’s a good way to go…we’re all gonna die…but it’s hell on the survivors.
• If you want details, i.e. the windbag version, give me a call.

Here’s the “song that matters.” Give it a listen. Travis (the banjo player) had only written the first verse when his 91 year old grandpa passed.

Don’t let this happen to you: “All the words I never said falling from my eyes…”

Don’t miss your last chance.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RcKxD1F0RxQ

Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays. Take care. Keep in touch. Be.

Steve

As I read the Q&A I found myself nodding in agreement with some of his answers.
Q. 3. “What did your generation fail to understand about society?”
A. 3. “My generation understood that once a hippie, always a hippie. Of course, I could not be a hippie today, sitting comfortably here in Geneva. But my values are still the same: simplify your life, eat healthy, respect women.”

As I read the remainder of that answer some lyrics from my favorite songwriter popped into my head.
Paulo Cohelo’s answer: “My generation understood the mind and our desire to journey–but then it came time to support ourselves. And it became difficult to broker a peace between the two.”

When Jackson Browne sings “The Pretender” I often say: “That was me. I was a pretender.”
His lyric: “I’m gonna be a happy idiot and struggle for the legal tender, Where the ads take aim and lay their claim to the heart and the soul of the spender, And believe in whatever may lie in those things that money can buy…”
Been there. Done that.
-=-=-=-=
The deja vu moment happened as I read his answer to question #6 of 8: “The two have a complicated love for each other in the novel. Have you ever been in love?”

Cohelo said: “I don’t remember not being in love.”
That ain’t me.
I remember the first time I fell in love. I’m in love again now for just the second time. But I do remember when I wasn’t in love with anyone, including myself.

I got a refresher with part of his answer to Q6. “There are very different types of love. There’s Eros, love for another person. There’s Philia, love for wisdom. And there is Pragma, which is love that goes beyond everything.”
-=-=-=-
The last part of the answer had me going “Holy shit…that was me last night!!!”

His answer: “Every time I go to sleep, I look at her and she is already sleeping. And I say to myself, ‘Oh my God, this is the greatest blessing in my life, to have found the person who understands me.’ ”

Shelly is always asleep when I shut down for the night. When we first started sleeping together even the slightest touch would get a flinch. It took awhile, but now I can lightly stroke her butt cheeks or a shoulder w/o startling her.

That night before reading the magazine I had given her a couple of love touches as I settled into our bed.
Then I just watched her sleep for what seemed like a long time. It was probably only two or three minutes. I broke out into a smile. I remember chuckling for a second or 2…she tossed a bit and re-positioned.
I gazed at her some more and thought about how lucky I am.

I thought it again the next morning, Time magazine in hand.
I am a lucky old coot.
But this time I didn’t just chuckle.
I laughed out loud.
Literally.