The Truckers can be profound & loud. I like that. Loud is a good four-letter word much of the time. Sometimes it’s not. Just like many other “four-letter” words.

If I had to pick my Top 20 songs by DBT, this one would make the list…even though very few of its lyrics describe my present or past circumstances. Might even make my Top 10, because the refrain describes me perfectly.

It would NOT be on the setlist if the band would let me come up with 22 songs the next time I see them. The three times I heard it live, I liked it each and everytime. I never “Loved It!!!” live.
But they did play it LOUD! That compensated. (And I gotta admit that I listened to the live version in this YouTube video a bunch of time…and sung along each & very time, especially to the refrain.)

Now about those lyrics:
My car is a Prius IV…getting 54mpg.
Don’t have a house. Never expect to own R/E again.
No dog or cat. I’m too irresponsible and impetuous.
Don’t have a couple of hundred channels. But have too many. TV is a vast wasteland.
No wife….but I do have more than 2 secrets that I’d like to keep hid.
Don’t know if there is a god. I do believe in Karma. Wrath? Not so much.

You get my drift by now…most of the lines aren’t me. And I only commented on the first verse; the trend continues, except for a few lines.
If you wanta read the lyrics, here is one of many places that you can find them:
https://songmeanings.com/songs/view/3530822107858704386/

These lines do apply:
I do have a couple of opinions that I hold dear. More than a couple actually…
I do have the need to blow it out on a Saturday night. Other nights too…
I’m all about hanging out and hanging on….loosely.
Trying my best to keep on keeping on. (Be. Just Be….doncha know?!)

And then there is that Refrain. That is what IT is all about. What I’m all about. Seriously.
“Just trying to hold steady on the Righteous Path.”
Amen & Amen.

The other day I mailed a flash drive to the first person who became a friend after moving to Orygun in 1976. Kevin and I have been through a lot together. Lots of good times. Lots of stories. My favorite is probably the road trip we took in May, 1980, when I attended his 10 year high school reunion….but the story of that trip, and of the big guy who wanted to kick my ass ass at the reunion shindig, are for another day.

Kevin and I don’t talk nearly as often as we should. When we talked six days ago, music was the only subject of the 17 minutes. I promised to send him something. There was a note in the envelope a couple of days later, and earlier today I sent him an e-mail.
-=-=-=–

hey kevin,

I’ve always been a fan of “under promise and over deliver.”
I promised you a flash drive with 10 albums and the one I mailed has 30….and about ¾ of storage is still available. (that’s pretty crazy….i remember the IBM XT with a 10 meg hardrive.)

here are the ten i’d leave on it if someone held my feet to the fire and forced me to strip off twenty.
they are in alpha order, based on the title of the album.

1. “Acoustic at the Ryman” by Band of Horses. I love this band. saw them at roots&blues&bbq in columbia in 2017. (already got my ticket for this year’s festival…sept 28-30.) hope to see band of horses in a small venue near me in 2018…

2. “All your favorite bands” saw Dawes twice in 2017. the two best shows I saw all year. (cains ballroom in tulsa and the madrid in kc.) small venues. “evening with” shows. 2 sets. awesome front man. I have a man crush on taylor goldsmith. my blog is named after the first cut of this album.

3. “American band” saw Drive-by Truckers friday jan. 26 at the truman in KC. they’re on the wheel of soul tour with the best band on the planet, tedeschi trucks. seeing 3 shows of the tour in a 4 day period. thurs, 7/26 at the fabulous fox in STL. sat and sunday, 28th and 29th at Red Rocks. if I had to pick 10 songs from the flash drive it would be “what it means.” the song would probably make the top 3 songs from these 30 albums. POWERFUL song.

4. “Battle born” by the Killers. brandon flowers doesn’t like the album. that puzzles me. it is my favorite Killers album, and I have 5 of them. i’ve had several cuts “on repeat.” give deadlines and commitments, heart of a girl and from here on out a listen.

5. “Folk Hop ‘n Roll” by Judah and the Lion.  I had never listened to this band until my niece asked if we’d meet them at the show at The Pageant in STL on 3/24. I said i’d get back to her. easy decision after hearing just the first song….love the lyrics to it. my friend david baker would say “more banjo!!!”….and this dude can pick it!

6. “Men amongst mountains” by The Revivalists. this band is on my short list of shows that I want to see in 2018….ideally in some place like cains in tulsa. or a small venue in orygun the first 2 weeks of september.

7. “Old forests.” Jeanette calls this her “favorite young band.” my friend joe manlove says “mumford and sons have nothing on these guys.” National Park Radio is good stuff.

8. “Only by the night” by Kings of Leon. if I could only have one KOL album, it would be this one. one of my “first time tunes” is on this album. I wrote about “use somebody” in my blog. love this song. be sure to listen to alum cranked to 11….play it LOUD!

9. “Revelator” by Tedeschi Trucks Band. this is the best band on the planet. (or maybe it’s Santana….shelly and I banter about it.) we are seeing TBT three times in 4 days in late July. if shelly doesn’t get to hear “Midnight in Harlem” live in 2018….she and I will be both disappointed.
hear it once: happy. hear it twice: thrilled. hear it at all three shows: ecstatic. stay tuned.

10. “The Nashville Sound” by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit.
maybe it’s because i’m gonna have a “zero birthday” in september, but since I heard it the first time I have been calling “If we were vampires” the saddest love song ever. this one is a no brainer for the 2018 desert island disk list.

there are multiple albums on here from several artists who made this Top 10 list: Dawes, Drive-by Truckers, Jason Isbell, Kings of Leon and National Park Radio.

there’s a pair each from couple of Missouri bands: Rainmakers and Bottle Rockets.

the others are a mix: people i’ve seen fairly recently, people on my bucket list. there’s a band that has never toured as a band. there is one from my all time favorite singer songwriter.

give me a call sometime to talk about the music on this flash drive…or about the past…or the present…or the future.

call me sometime.

love you Kevin.

steve

A quick scan of my 2017 journal found over 30 instances of a entry like this: “what it means was on repeat”
Or this one: “that earworm will not go away….and I’m liking it.”
More than 30 songs “on repeat” in 2017. Several of them probably had Shelly cringing.

I like to see bands live multiple times too. There are several that I’d see back-to-back-to-back if the opportunity should present itself. Some of them are on the list of 6 bands that 1 saw multiple times in 2017.

I’m a lyrics guy. At least 2 songs from each of the 6 made the 2017 RPT list. Bands listed alphabtically.  Line or two of lyric from the song that was On Repeat.

Dawes
“Quit taking the jobs that rob you of your powers so you can buy more shit you don’t have time to use…” from Quitter.
“Things happen, that’s all they ever do…” from “Things happen.”

Drive by Truckers
“But don’t look to me for answers, Cause I don’t know what it means…” from “What it means.”
“When he reached the gates of heaven he didn’t understand…” from “Two daughters and a beautiful wife.”
The true story behind this song is so very, very sad.

Jason Isbell
“It’s knowing that this can’t go on forever, Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone…” from “If we were vampires.” (This is one sad love song.)
“If there’s two things that I hate, It’s having to cook and trying to date….” from “Codeine.”

Rainmakers
“If Heaven is guilt, no sex and no show, then I’m not sure if I really want to go…” from “Wages of sin.”
“Older than I used to be, younger than I’m gonna be…” from “Long gone long.”

Ryan Adams
“Come pick me up, Take me out, Fuck me up, Steal my records…” from “Come pick me up.”
“The lines on my face are like a map of my sins…” from “Trouble.”

Tedeschi Trucks
“I was running from the past, My heart was bleeding and it hurt my bones to laugh…” from “Midnight in Harlem.”
“You gotta feel the pain, you got to see the suffering, gotta hear the cause…” from “It’s so heavy.”
-=-=-
That’s just over a third of the songs that I had On Repeat this year.
4 other RPTs stand out for me.

Band of Horses is still on one of my bucket lists. That particular list is “bands to see with Shelly.”
Lyric: “But no one is ever gonna love you more than I do...”
-=-=-=
Father John Misty writes some of the strangest lyrics. This under 3 minute song has a great title and some doozies.
Title: Chateau Lobby #4 (In C for Two Virgins)
Lyric 1: “I wanna take you in the kitchen, Lift up your wedding dress someone was probably murdered in…”
Lyric 2: “You left a note in your perfect script, Stay as long as you want, I haven’t left your bed since…”
He also wrote one of my all time favorite songs: “When you’re smiling and astride me.”
-=-=-=
And then is this one from a guy that I’ve wanted to see for over 40 years.
“…All that we have is each other and that’s all that I’ll ever need…” from “Family” by Joe Walsh. He was the opening act for Tom Petty in Little Rock back in March.

I had several Petty songs on repeat in 2017. And lots of others on RPT since picking up his first album in 1976.
We had only been in Corvallis for a few months. Money was tight. There are LOTS of stories from that Bi-centennial year…another time.
That first album had a couple of RPT tunes…not just for me…for millions of people: “Breakdown” and “American Girl.”

The Petty tune that I listened to the most in 2017 is one that he only played live a few times. He wrote it soon after his Mom died.
“What about the broken ones?
What about the lonely ones?
Oh honey I’m having trouble letting you go…”

Yes indeed.
Tom Petty died almost 3 months ago, and it’s still troubling me.  I am having trouble letting him go.  Glad I was able to see him 5 times.  I was hoping for half a dozen.

Let there be music.
Let some of it be on Repeat.
Be. Just Be.

Our 2017 road trip is only a couple of days away.
I’m expecting to put over 3K on a rental car in a period of 14 days.
We’ll sleep in OK, NM, AZ, CO, and KS.
We’ll see concerts in Albuquerque (Santana) and at Red Rocks (The Avett Brothers).
Shelly will see the Grand Canyon for the first time.
I’ll see parts of Utah and Colorado that I’ve never seen before.
This roadtrip is a vacation for her and a getaway for me.
There will also be a reunion factor as my son is planning to meet us in Denver on 7/9/17. The last time I saw Joseph was 2 years ago. There are stories there….both past and to come. One of my favorites is The Epiphany.

I shudder to think how much I woulda spent on film and processing if I had taken this trip in 1980. (That summer’s first roadtrip took me from Corvallis to Green Bay for a high school reunion. Not mine. I took hundreds of shots on that trip. In the digital age, add a zero.)

-=-=-=-=-=-

This upcoming roadtrip is very different from the one I took 6 years ago.
That one back in 2011 was:
Shorter…at only 1,200 miles.
One-way…from New Tampa, FL to Reeds Spring, MO with short layovers in the Atlanta suburbs and at my folks place in the Leadbelt.
It too was a “getaway” but in a much different sense.
No live music in route.
No pictures.

Six years ago I was traveling alone in a packed car that I bought on eBay. Before I hit the road that last Tuesday of June, 2011, I had shipped about 25 boxes of books, albums, CDs, slides&pictures, and some household good to my sister’s place at Table Rock Lake.
I was down-sizing. Bigly.
I left behind a 3400 square foot house filled with furniture…and “stuff.” I moved only one piece from Tampa: the small rocking chair my parents bought for me when I was a toddler.

My marriage of 37 years had imploded a few months earlier. It was time for us to start new lives.
Before I drove away I wrote one page letters to Paula, Joseph & Caroline. (I re-read the letters every once in awhile. It’s a good thing to do.  I did it again yesterday.)
I didn’t know how long I’d live at my sister’s when I arrived on July the 5th. (After 3 months we couldn’t stand the sight of each other, so I moved to The Abbey…where Shelly and I are about to renew our lease.)
I had no idea how long I’d live in Missouri. I still don’t….

-=-=-=-

When we hit the road on 6/29/17, we’ll be traveling with a USB drive loaded with literally hundreds of hours of music.
Back in 2011, it was a shoe box full of CDs.

The majority of music we’ll listen to on the trip will be people I’ll be seeing in the second half of 2017 (Shelly will have to miss some of the shows):
Santana
Shovels and Rope
The Avett Brothers
Wood Brothers
Tedeschi Trucks Band
Ryan Adams
Jason Isbell
Father John Misty
The Rainmakers
Drive-by Truckers
Band of Horses
Bob Seger

When I left Tampa in 2011, I hadn’t seen live music in years. (No wonder I was not a happy camper….but there was a lot more to it than that!)

Six years has flown by. I have made lots of new friends.
The vast majority of them are music lovers.  Many are musicians.
I fell in love.
My life is good again. I hope yours is too, and that you are traveling the high road.

Be. Be kind. Just Be.

I always experience a range of emotions while listening to the words of those dedicating bricks. There are stories of heroes and stories of heinous crimes; stories of people who counsel and support victims; stories of those who track down and prosecute the perpetrators. The folks in blue who keep us safe are out in full force….at least 40 in dress uniform.

This is the third time that I’ve attended this event with Shelly, who is the Development Director for The Victim Center: a small organization with a big heart. Some of the stories their therapists, volunteers and clients can share will tear you up.

After the event we made our traditional trek to the Mudlounge. It’s the place where we first made eye contact, after some online exchanges and a little time on the phone. We always go there after the brick ceremony. It’s a tradition.

In the 90 minutes from the time we started getting dressed until we headed from the park to the bar, I had probably uttered the 6 word title of the song at least a dozen times.

After hearing just “two daughters and a beautiful wife” repeatedly, Shelly asked me what the song was about. I told her the story as we drove downtown.

The story will tear you up. This piece tells it in detail. Read it.
Senseless violence. Four people killed for no reason. This one sentence pretty much says it all: “So pitiful and appalling was the state of the bodies that hardened cops and firemen reportedly cried at the scene.”
-=-=-=
After seeing Patterson Hood of Drive-by Truckers sing this song at The Pageant in late January, this song has often rattled around in my head and it has been on repeat in the apartment. I know most of the lyrics, but two pieces stick with me more than any others: the 6 word title and “…Everybody cried, Everybody cried and cried…”“

At the relatively short ceremony, I kept hearing the song. Those 2 phrases totaling 12 words getting louder inside my head. Then I would look around at the attendees. All of them there for a reason: to honor heroes and recognize some who were gone.
-=-=-=-=
Later, as Shelly enjoyed her Cosmo and me my Russian Coffee (seems fitting ever since 11/8/2016) it was like I had Tourette’s. “2 daughters & a beautiful wife….”

And then The Rant began.

There were probably 125 people or so at the brick dedication ceremony. One of the honorees was a therapist with 20 years experience at a non-profit agency. I asked Shelly how much she thought this lady would earn annually. I got an answer of about what I expected. A sad number based on the value she is to the planet. Lots of major league pitchers make significantly more for each start than this lady makes for a year. It’s criminal.

The median salary for a police patrol officer in Springfield, MO is $51,547…thanks to google. Last night I guessed 50K.

When I pushed the numbers in my head I guessed that the crowd earned between 5 and 8 million bucks a year.

Chump change to athletes, hedge fund gamblers, and trust fund babies.  It’s criminal. It’s maddening.
-=-=-=
I’m not gonna rant much here. And I really didn’t rant all that much at The Mudlounge.
But I was pissed off. I am pissed off.
Thinking about what gets valued and what doesn’t.
Thinking about how rewards get doled out. Or not.
Thinking about what is important. And what isn’t.
Wanting to scream “Fuck Me!!” Or “What the fuck!?!”

“…Everybody cried, Everybody cried and cried…”“

Listen to the song. (You can read the lyrics by clicking on “Show more.”)
Do something to be part of the solution.  At least write a check or charge a card.

Love is the answer.
Fear and hate are not.

To attend the viewing, I did an “over-and-back” to the county where my Mom’s family has lived almost their entire lives. If it wasn’t for the military in the case of her three brothers, she would’ve been the only member of her immediate family to ever receive mail someplace other than St. Francois county, MO.

During the 200 miles in each direction, I had plenty of time time to think about my Mom’s middle brother and the good times we had, and to listen to about 7 hours of music.

I have a ton of music on the USB drive that I travel with, but I really would have only needed a few CDs on Saturday.

The first one I listened to as I was leaving Springfield, and again as I returned, was “American Band” by Drive-By Truckers. That’s no surprise. I have probably listened to that album on more than half of the days since it was released at the end of last September.

“What it means” is the most meaningful new song I’ve heard in years. It’s a meaningful album. This is the best 57 minute 7 second YouTube out there….
Go to 36:42 to listen to the story behind “What it means” and to 50:12 to the song Patterson Hood wrote when he heard that Robin Williams was dead.
-=-=-=
Number 2 in the rotation: “Late for the Sky” by my favorite singer-songwriter Jackson Browne released the album in 1974. I’ve worn out a couple of vinyl copies. For me, it captures the human experience. It is an existential record. An essential album.

There are a couple of songs on this album that I want played at the celebration of my life: “The late show” and “For a dancer.”

The former because of these lyrics:
“Everyone I’ve ever known has wished me well
Anyway that’s how it seems, it’s hard to tell
Maybe people only ask you how you’re doing
‘Cause that’s easier than letting on how little they could care
But when you know that you’ve got a real friend somewhere
Suddenly all the others are so much easier to bear”

I feel fortunate to have more than a few real friends. Unfortunately they are scattered from coast to coast….but maybe that is actually fortunate?
-=-=-=-=
“For a dancer” as my ashes cool because of this:
“I don’t know what happens when people die
Can’t seem to grasp it as hard as I try
It’s like a song playing right in my ear
That I can’t sing
I can’t help listening”

And this:
“..No matter how close to yours another’s steps have grown
In the end there is one dance you’ll do alone…”

And this:
“…Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive and the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive but you’ll never know”
-=-=-=

Tomorrow I’ll see and hear Dawes in Tulsa. I expect them to sing several songs from their latest album “We’re all gonna die” which got repeated plays on my drive to the Leadbelt.

As I sang along with the title track on both directions of the “over-and-back” I found myself thinking about how my family is getting smaller. When I moved back to Missouri in 2011 I had no idea how long I’d live in the state that I had moved from in 1976. I never expected to do more than visit. Even though my Mom was on the slippery slope and even though Dad had survived bacterial meningitis in 2010, I wasn’t sure how long I’d live in MO.

In the six years I’ve been here, we’ve buried my Mom, her sister and now her brother. Only three of the six Stevens remain, and the oldest one has good days and bad days and has been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Both of my Dad’s sisters have died in the past three years.
My dad, who’ll be 91 in a couple of months, says “the troops are thinning.”
They are. It’s inevitable.

“…So try not to get upset
Everything is fine
Hey, it’s not that big a deal
We’re all gonna die”

Until then, I’ll keep playing music, giving hugs and telling the people I love how I feel. I only told my Uncle Joe that I loved him a few times. I know he knew, but I didn’t tell him as many times as I should have. That makes me sad.