The “Home alone” Milestone

This weekend is a big deal for both me and Shelly.
I’m “home alone” for three nights while she is in the Wichita area celebrating her first born’s 40th birthday.
Like several things that have been on my calendar since I came home on 10/25/23 after 34 nights in hospitals, it just wasn’t in the cards for me. (Goal flexibility is very important in a TM world for both the ambushed person and their care-giver.)

I won’t go into the specifics that had us agreeing that I should stay in Springfield and pass on the 4-and-a-half-hour drive and miss the shindig. (Is nausea that won’t go away, no matter how many ginger chews, enough information??)

That brought us to the Big Question: “What happens with Steve while Shelly is in Kansas? Can he stay ‘home alone’??”
The only night that Shelly hasn’t stayed with me in the apartment so far was on July 15…but my sister and brother-in-law spent the nite.
This weekend, they’re on the other side of the state for her high school reunion.
I’ve been telling her for awhile that I am able to take care of myself inside the apartment. During the day, she is OK leaving me for several hours, but overnight was different.
So we tested it out a couple of nights.

There are 3 primary concerns.

1. Even though I have only fallen a couple of times since 10/25/23, I am most certainly a Fall Risk. I have always been a klutz. But now my balance is poor, and walking comes down to muscle memory and a matter of faith…I have to be conscious and careful of each and step I take.
2. Syncope. Shelly has had to call 911 twice in the past few months after I passed out on the couch and starting spasming and flailing about.
3. Catheter care; swapping from night bag to leg bag and vice verse; sanitary procedures. (I have another urodynamics test on Oct 15 to see if I can pee on my own…cross your fingers!!! That would be life changing….and a HUGE Milestone. I never had all that much manual dexterity, but TM hammered my hands. Self cathing several times a day is not an option.)

Not much we can “test” re the first two. But on the two days before she headed out, I was in charge of everything catheter related to make sure I could pull it off.
I proved to both of us that I am up to the task.
So we made the call: her trip was on and I’m on my own for three nights.

Things got a little complicated when in a freak accident she dropped a heavy wooden statue of liberty on her foot on Wednesday morning. The peak of “the lantern” punctured the top of her foot. X-ray revealed a hairline fracture. In a boot for a few weeks. Lots of icing and ibuprofen.
“Fortunately” it’s her left foot, so she can drive.

But she wasn’t able to make the planned grocery run, so she drove me to Aldi and I did my first solo shopping in over a year. (Before transverse myelitis I made almost all the grocery runs…)
And when she was packed up Friday morning, I once again became the mule…getting everything from the apartment into the car. (Her suitcase weighed a ton…well, it felt like it.)

When I made it upstairs after she drove away, my heart was pounding.
Getting the car loaded wore me out.
There was also some anxiety.
I really was Home Alone…for the next 100plus hours!!!

So far, so good.
No falls. No passing out. No issues with the catheter. (But until I see pee in the tube after changing the bag, I’m a bit anxious…)
Shelly and I do a couple or 3 video calls on Messenger daily.
Music and streaming a couple of things has given me some Jimmy V moments…“home alone” I’ve laughed, thought, and cried.
A couple of friends from long ago and far away have kept me company on the phone every day. They have been encouraging and congratulatory of the “Home Alone Milestone.”

I’m glad that Shelly left me alone for a few days…more for her than for me.
She needed some alone time. She needed time with Amber and Cecily. She needed to know that as much as I need her, I’m able to make it on my own…sorta…for a few days.
As traumatic as it was for me to wake up on 9/18/23 paralyzed, it was traumatic for her too. (I can’t imagine how I would have reacted that morning…)
She’s been there for me every moment….of every day.
Shelly has had more faith in me than I’ve had in myself.
We have another milestone to celebrate…together.
I really am a lucky old coot.